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  • Christian Armbruester

Brexit, Trump, and Diet Soda

Why everything has changed, yet remains the same.

With the economic turmoil, the political tensions, the uncertainty and all that is happening in the world, we have now reached a point, where nothing surprises me anymore. Maybe this is the new normal, or maybe this is just the way it has always been. Ultimately, it took a global pandemic to make it obvious that there really is no one in control, there is no one to lead us to the promised land, and most regrettably, there is no one who can just make it all go away.

But let’s start at the beginning. During the first two months of the lock-down, my activity levels dropped to nought. After all, walking from the bedroom to the bathroom, kitchen and a place to look at a screen only takes so long. My smart phone confirmed this. Even though I am within the confines of our home, I still carry my little favourite device wherever I go, and as it happens for a total of 3 miles in the month of May.

The weight gain during this period came to about 5 kilos. There are moments in life when you have a decision to make, and this was one of them. I could now descent onto a well-trodden path towards middle age, a pot belly and wait for my hair to fall out, or I could try and defer the inevitable for just a little while longer, by embarking on a fitness regime of epic proportions. So I ran every day, worked out every other day, watched what I ate, drank only diet beverages, never touched alcohol and did whatever I could to stay as active as possible to reduce the fat in my body.

After stepping on the scale this morning, I realised that something had gone terribly wrong. We are facing the biggest threat to humanity in modern times, and the guy proclaiming to be in charge has recommended that we poison ourselves. We are also undergoing the biggest geo-political event of this century, one that will influence the lives of all Europeans for generations to come and apparently we are squabbling over, wait for it, fishing rights. Could it possibly get any worse? I gained 2 kilos. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is an area we call….the twilight zone, and undoubtedly we are right in the middle of it.


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